WHO ARRIVES FIRST MUST NOT FEEL LIKE THE LAST ONE

WHO ARRIVES FIRST MUST NOT FEEL LIKE THE LAST ONE

The arrival of a second baby is a moment in which several feelings come together; the joy of bringing a new member to the family; the excessive work involved in having a first-born who has left behind his first life stage and faces new challenges with starting over again (sleepless nights, etc.); to reconcile schedules juggling at home and at work. But parents face a small problem that, although it does not go unnoticed, rarely leaves indifferent if it is not stopped from the beginning.

We refer to a topic that, without directly affecting the parents, needs their will and good work to minimize the effects that can cause in the firstborn: jealousy towards his little brother / sister.



From the beginning

And the best way is to face what can be a problem (or not, as it does not happen in all cases) the sooner the better. Since you have news that a new baby is on the way, you have to prepare the ground so that when it is born everything will be more bearable for his / her brother / sister.

little girl caressing her pregnant mother's belly

Explain that he / she will soon have a smaller boy / girl being by his / her side, with whom he / she can play, laugh, watch cartoons, etc. it must be an incentive for it to begin to have the worm of the arrival of a little brother / sister. In other cases, it is the very first child who asks to have a brother, when he / she is no longer a baby, and sees that in his environment, at school, his friends or siblings have that little person with whom to share moments. With what the subject, well taken, is solved before the conflicts can start, as long as the parents have posed positively to have another baby.

And it is essential that the older brother "learn" to love who is still to come, for this it may be interesting to have contact with the mother's belly, to stroke it, to sing to the baby who is on the way ... Also if he / she can see the results of the ultrasound that is practiced to mom, will see the evolution of his / her little brother / sister and will feel more responsible to him / her.



But how much road remains to be traveled!

All this is very good as preparation before childbirth, but we would fall into a terrible mistake if we thought that there can be no conflicts because everything has already been said. The inevitable care that a newborn baby requires, or in any case, the smallest being in the house, can cause the firstborn to feel displaced when he / she  sees that he / she no longer requires the same attention as before. To do this, we must make him / her see that it is not over, and in addition to being the older brother / sister, they can also participate in the care and pampering of the newborn.

little girl taking care and playing with her younger sister

This is extended to the family nucleus and friends and acquaintances, that when they visit the baby newcomer, and in subsequent visits, they fill him / her with gifts; It is worth remembering the firstborn and have a detail of the same style, but what they will most appreciate without a doubt is that they pay attention and play with them, that they continue to feel important at home and that they are happy to be one more in the family. It is necessary to avoid that they feel none, and that implies to all the parts, from father and mother, happening through the grandmother, the uncle. You have to involve everyone in this task, and the best way is to talk about the eldest son, his achievements in school, etc. of anything he / she has done when others are too focused on the newborn.

Many people already have it in mind, but we thought it was interesting to remember.

If it was your case, how did you manage the jealousy or the feeling of being displaced from your eldest son? You can tell us in the comments box, we will love to know!



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